Saturday, March 8, 2014

Then Am I Stong

"When hard trials come, the faith to endure them well will be there, built as you may now notice but may have not at the time that you acted on the pure love of Christ, serving and forgiving others as the Savior would have done. You built a foundation of faith from loving as the Savior loved and serving for Him. Your faith in Him led to acts of charity that will bring you hope.

It is never too late to strengthen the foundation of faith. There is always time. With faith in the Savior, you can repent and plead for forgiveness. There is someone you can forgive. There is someone you can thank. There is someone you can serve and lift. You can do it wherever you are and however alone and deserted you may feel."

There are situations in life that we feel we can't escape from.  There are some things that seem out of our control.  But I know that we always have the ability to chose how we act ourselves.  One of the toughest things to do, is to watch a person you love be hurt, and then to forgive the person that hurt them.  Even harder is to forgive them when they don't feel bad about doing so.  I know that through the Atonement of Christ we can find forgiveness for our mistakes, and we can receive the strength to forgive others for their mistakes.

Sometimes a person makes dumb choices, and they can hurt you.  But if you show them that love that you have found from the Savior, they can grow closer to Him, and you can be a part of helping them to choose better in the future.

I can't change the things that other people do.  But I can change what I do.  Through striving to know my Savior, I have been able to take those small steps that help me to act, instead of being acted upon.  No matter what trials are facing you, no matter what choices or situations are baring down on you, know that you are not stuck.  Pray to God, and he can help you.

I just repeat the invitation that He has already extended.  I promise blessings that He is already waiting to give.  I encourage and support, but the love that I show comes from Him.

I know how tough it is to stop sometimes.  I know what it is like to be doing something, and to know it is bad, and to still do it anyways.  You feel stuck, and sometimes hopeless that you won't be able to change.  And then, in your stuck place, you come to find yourself reading my blog, and you know what I am going to tell you to do.  You know the steps needed to get you out, but you can't seem to take them.

It took me four years - of telling myself that I was going to get better, pretending that I was, lying to myself that I was improving, and ignoring the times that I messed up - before I got to a place where I saw the way out. And once I saw that way out, it took another year and a half to get to a place where I could say that I was leaving that life and those actions behind me.  I am still afraid that those same things lay ahead of me in the future.  That some trial will arise and I will find that I haven't changed at all.  I know that I am weak.  And when I act strong, I know that I still am weak.  But I know that I don't have to be strong to have faith in my Lord.

Despite my every weakness, and every sin, Christ still calls to me.  He is all knowing, and He new the mistakes that I was going to make before I made them.  And He has already chosen to forgive me.  We all make mistakes in life, and these mistakes create feelings of guilt and shame.  These feelings can not be relieved without repentance and forgiveness.  They can be fully healed through the Atonement of Christ.

I know that changing is tough.  When I found myself stuck. I knew that the first step out was to stop and walk away, but I was too weak.  I watched myself keep going, even when I no longer wanted to.  I tried to walk away but sometimes you don't believe that you can.  And it kills you, but you stay.  In this time I accepted my weakness.  I knew that I couldn't get myself out.  In weakness I fell to my knees and prayed to my Lord.  I begged Him to help me.  I told Him that I didn't have the strength to change.  I asked Him to show me the way out, and I admitted that I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to take the way out even after I could see it.  I ended my prayer in tears, which soon lead to me laying in bed feeling hopeless, and then turning back to the very thing that I had prayed to be relieved from.

This brought my soul in even greater torment.  How can I get out?  I tried to think if I should give up hopes of a better me, and just try to be happy with the place that I was in.

Finding happiness in a sinful state will never last.  Trying to be alright in an environment where you feel stuck will never bring you joy.  I know that Christ is the way out.  Continue to pray to Him and know that your weakness is made perfect in His strength.  We can reach joy in this life.  And there is always always a way out.
My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
(2 Corinthians 12:9-10) 
I found that way out.  Through my prayers at the times in my life where I was the most lost.  
Turn to Him in your weakness, and allow Him to bless you with His strength.






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