Pour Out My Whole Soul Unto God

"Now, it came to pass that when I had heard these words I began to feel a desire for the welfare of my brethren, the Nephites; wherefore, I did pour out my whole soul unto God for them."

(Enos 1:9) 

My companion, Sister Roth, had to go to a training leader conference today.  I am not a training leader, so I couldn't go.  Instead I hung out with two sisters in a neighboring area to mine.  Towards the end of Sister Roths meeting we saw a man pushing a shopping cart down the sidewalk.  As we drove past we noticed that he had two more shopping carts waiting at the end of the road. 

We stopped and asked him where he was going.  DOWNTOWN MESA! (Which is forever far away.)  He was pushing one cart to the end of the street, and going back for the next, until he got all three across the crosswalk and could start on the next stretch of road.  We asked if we could help him push his carts for a while.

We each took a cart and started walking!

About twenty minutes later we reached the edge of our area and told him that we were going to have to start to head back.  But we asked if we could try to maybe tie his carts together for him.  He said that might be a good idea.  So we looked around and saw a car-spa back down the road a little from where we had just come.  We knew that they might not have rope, but we decided to try there anyways.

As we were walking back we heard the phone ring.  I got so excited. "Sister Roth is coming back and wants to know where to meet me."  But as we checked out pockets, none of us had the phone.  We looked around and saw it laying open on the edge of the sidewalk almost in the road!

I ran over and answered it.

"Sister Roth, you just saved the sister's phone from being lost on the side of a busy road forever!  We were walking back by it and had you not called, we wouldn't have known it was lost and we would have left it behind for good!"

I heard Sister Roth on the other end of the phone:

"Oh my goodness, I can't believe it! I have been praying! The sisters that I am with need to get to a lesson and you weren't answering the phone. And I prayed saying 'Heavenly Father please let the sisters hear the phone ring!'"

"Well He did! And it was a miracle!"

Heavenly Father knew that it would work out.  He knew that we lost the phone, and that we needed to find it.  As we waited for Sister Roth to pick us up, we found somethings to use to help this man tie his carts together so he can make it to Mesa.

I know that God always knows of our needs and He knows where we are.  He will help us as we strive to help His children!

Christ Has Become My Salvation

"Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the Lord JEHOVAH is my strength and my song; he also has become my salvation." 

(Isaiah 12:2) 

 I was once given an invitation to identify an experience that I have had where I turned and applied the Atonement of Jesus Christ in my life.  There are obvious times: when I confessed and repented.  But are there other times?

Jesus Christ does more than forgive us of our sins.  He can heal us.  

Growing up, I believed in miracles, I believed in dreams coming true, and I believed in Jesus Christ.  When I was thirteen, my best friend's little brother, Travis, got really sick.  I watched for the miracle as the people around me prayed for him.  We fasted, and we believed.  I saw a lot of his dreams coming true.  People were giving this nine-year-old boy with a brain tumor tickets to the World Series and his family went on a Make a Wish Disney Cruise.  How cool!  But still I was waiting for the miracle.

The night soon came that my dad got a phone call and left super fast.  I didn't think anything of it.  He was gone for hours.  Finally he called my mom, and she sat me down by my older sister.  She told us that we had to be strong.  "Set a good example for your little sister (who was around the same age as Travis) and help her see that everything is going to be okay."

I couldn't believe that Travis wasn't healed.  How could he die when everyone had prayed?  But despite my personal confusion and sadness, I put on a strong face for when my mother brought in my little sister and told us the news that Travis had passed.

I continued to hide behind that "strength."  I didn't let people know that my faith was shaken.  I thought over and over "How could God let this little boy die?"  My sadness could have been healed, had I turned to my Savior, but instead I turned away.  And my sadness turned to anger against God, and then to anger against myself.  

It was stupid that I was letting something upset my happy life.  I was being foolish for believing in prayer, and angels.  Happiness, as defined by me in the trial of my faith, was the lack of pain or fear.  I began to block out these negative emotions.  I no longer felt sad, I wasn't angry or hurt or afraid.  But I wasn't happy either.  I had trained myself to "not feel" by telling myself that I didn't care.  I lost all interest in the things that I once found joy from.  

A year after Travis had died, I went with my family to visit his grave.  I looked around at myself and realized that I had somehow become far away from my family.  I didn't have any friends, and I didn't have any purpose.  No goals or wishes.  No dreams.  I was lost.

Upon realizing that I had reacted to death in the wrong way, I decided how I could fix it.  I didn't turn to my Savior, because that required me to admit how wrong I had been.  I kept my anger against God buried deep, and I began to try to feel again.  But as I strived to feel pain, I told myself that hurting couldn't upset me.  I was trying to prove to myself that I was strong enough to withstand it.

Well it didn't do much to help me.  But it did get the attention of my family.  My dad asked me if this was my way of calling for help.  I told him it wasn't.  I didn't need help.  But he asked me if he could give me some anyways.  I didn't say anything.  This conversation was getting close to making me feel something and I didn't want to feel it.  My father told me that I should talk to my sister.  He reminded me how close we had once been.  I considered it and agreed that talking to her was a good idea.  Then he told me that I should talk to my friends again.  I thought about it, and said I'd try.  And I went on my way.

I went and began to regain the relationships that I had forgotten about.  I began to realize how I had to care about others in order to find the joy that came with being with them.  I stopped wanting to be alone.  But I still couldn't talk to the boy that had once been my best friend.  I tried decorating his room for his birthday, but still when the time came for him to thank me, I could only think of his little brother Travis, and I would run away from the pain.

I reported my efforts to my father.  He asked me what I thought I needed to do to be happy.  I was mad when he asked me that, but I answered anyways.  "Pray I guess."  I knew all along that Jesus Christ was the way back.  The only way.  

Turning to Christ helped me break from bad habits, and helped me to create new better habits.  Through reading of Him in the scriptures I found peace.  It was really tough, and it still is.  But through learning of Him, I have begun a journey to live with Him and with God again.

Though I didn't know him well, Travis has helped me so much.  My reaction to his death proved to me my weakness.  I can't do this alone.  I know that I am weak.  I know that I am nothing and I have nothing, save what God has given me.  I know that God can hear our prayers.  He is all knowing, and I am not.  I know only the things that He has revealed to me.

I know that Travis is happy.  He is in a place of peace. And his spirit is doing great work for our God.  One of the things he was asked to do, was to help me come to Christ.  I know that Travis has been there helping me, waiting for me to see.  Travis has shown me that strength isn't measured by the lack of tears, but by how much we learn to rely on our Savior.

I will trust, and not be afraid: for the Lord is my strength.

I still believe in miracles.  I believe that dreams can come true.  I believe that love can overcome fear and pain.  I know that Christ lives.  I am striving everyday to draw closer to Him.

He has become my salvation.

Pray One For Another

"And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.  Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed.  The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."

(James 5:15-16)

I have been contemplating the purpose of prayer.  We speak to God, and tell him the things that He already knows.  We ask Him for things that He already knows that we need.  We thank Him for things when He already knows the intents of our hearts.  Then we close "in the name of Jesus Christ."

Through prayer things can be revealed to us.  God knows the things we need before we ask for them.  But He wants us to trust in Him.  Sometimes He will wait until we ask.

Jesus has promised us that if we ask we shall receive.  He has also told us that He is "the way, the truth, and the light.  No man comes unto the Father (God) but by me" (Jesus Christ.)  That is why we pray in the name of Jesus Christ.  Because through Christ, God can reveal to us all things.  

There is power in praying in Christ's name.  There is also power in serving God's children.  "The worth of a soul is great in the sight of God." (D&C 18:10)  As you pray for others, you can find joy in their blessings.

I have been praying for my brother in law.  His school situation has been a little scary.  I knew that God has a plan for him and my sister and their cute little girl.  I knew that even if they had to move and start school over, that God would still bless them.  I prayed to God in the name of Jesus, that Allen would be able to know what he should do.  As time went on, the situation leveled out and we could see how things were going to work out.  I joy in the blessings that God gave to my sisters family.  

No matter what your needs or concerns may be, the Savior and his teachings--the Gospel will help you.

Always Abounding in Good Works

"Therefore, I would that ye should be steadfast and immovable, always abounding in good works, that Christ, the Lord God Omnipotent, may seal you his, that you may be brought to heaven, that ye may have everlasting salvation and eternal life, through the wisdom, and power, and justice, and mercy of him who created all things, in heaven and in earth, who is God above all. Amen." 

(Mosiah 5:15)

The blessings promised by prophets of old are for all men of every time.  Jesus Christ loves all of us, no matter what day and age we live in.  As I learn of Christ, and I become "steadfast and immovable," I try to remember that I must also always be abounding in good works.  

I have felt the Love of Christ in my life.  I know that He loves me personally.  It is tough for me, at times, to take that understanding and still focus on others.  Yes, Jesus loves me but He never taught me to be selfish.  I want to follow His example and serve others.

What if you had to give up your parking spot in the middle of the day to share it with someone else? 

Lazy habits are Satan's greatest fight against righteous service.  

Awake and shake off the dust!  Take a second today to swallow that little bit of pride, and go and do something good in the world.  The small things are the most important.  Isn't it nice getting that gross taste out of your mouth?  Sometimes you don't realize how dumb you are being until you start acting smart!  I know that I get caught thinking of myself all the time.  Take a second today to ask someone you pass if they need help.  Its easy! Once you decide to do it :)

I know that one of the fastest ways to make your life happier is to help someone out.  Everyday my companion Sister Roth asks anybody that we pass if we can help them with something.  They always say no.  "Are you sure?"  She'll ask.  Some people need help, but don't want to take it.  

Finally we had a lady who was weeding her yard said, "sure if you want to!"  And what a great day that was!! We got to weed a garden, in 85 degree heat, while wearing skirts.  But we did it, to help this woman out.  Afterwards she gave us some water and sent us on our way.  And that was it.  No astonishing result, no miracle.  Just a smile and a bit of joy in the day. (and some dirt under my nails to remember it by!)

I know that Christ loves all of us.  He has done so much for us.  Your love will be shown through your actions.  Show your love, and help someone see His love, and I know that you will feel the love of Him who created all things.

He Will

"But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in Him,  

and serve Him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this, 

He will

according to His own will and pleasure, 

deliver you out of bondage."

                                                                                                                (Mosiah 7:33) 

In times of misfortune and woe

My heart often cries "to whom shall I go?"
Deep inside we all know the truth,

But for me, it was lost in my youth.

Ignored or forgotten,

My souls happiness gone rotten

Where shall I go?

Long nights and dark tears

Run, hide or face your fears

My mind gets stuck in memories that are past

I prayed every night that fear won't last

I tried to break free

From the grief inside of me

A glimmer of light

Waits at the break of the night.

Oh Lord, my redeemer

Thou hast done so much for me

I turned my face away and you waited lovingly for me to see

I feel the warmth from the son

I desired to say "Thy will be done."

I am slow to trust

But I know that I must

Come unto Thee

That my soul may be free

Lord help me turn away from my past

And come to the joy that I know will always last

My actions will demonstrate the love I have found

I will teach of Thee, 

And help others to see

God loves all of His children

And with love and joy they can be free

One By One

 "And it came to pass that the Lord spake unto them saying: "Arise and come forth unto me, that ye may thrust your hands into my side, and also that ye may feel the prints of the nails in my hands and in my feet, that ye may know that I am the God of Israel, and the God of the whole earth, and have been slain for the sins of the world. "And it came to pass that the multitude went forth, and thrust their hands into his side, and did feel the prints of the nails in his hands and in his feet; and this they did do, going forth one by one until they had all gone forth, and did see with their eyes and did feel with their hands, and did know of a surety and did bear record, that it was he, of whom it was written by the prophets, that should come. "And when they had all gone forth and had witnessed for themselves, they did cry out with one accord, saying: "Hosanna! Blessed be the name of the Most High God! And they did fall down at the feet of Jesus, and did worship him."  

(3 Nephi 11: 13-17)

The Lord loves all of His children. Jesus Christ suffered and died for all of us.  These people were able to go one by one to feel, see, and understand what He did for us.  I was not a part of that multitude, and at times I look at my relationship with God as being part of a multitude. But Jesus Christ knows us all individually.  I didn't get to go and feel the prints in His hands and feet, but I can still gain that relationship with Him in my life.  I can know Him, and if you take the time to get to know Him, you can have that personal relationship with your Savior as well.

I am a child of God.  Jesus Christ is my brother, and He is my Redeemer.  The more I accept this, and the more I strive to know my Lord, the more I recognize that He already knows me.  I can see everyday the things that God has prepared for me.  The people He has lead me to to meet, and the blessings that He lovingly gives to me.

Look for the hand of the Lord in your life.  I know He is there.

Jesus Christ visiting the Nephites

I want to share with you how I am coming to know my Savior, and how I see His love in the lives of everyone around me.