To The Prisoners in the Desert

As I am here serving a mission in Arizona, it gets really hot outside, riding around on a bike.  Sometimes adversity comes in the form of negative thoughts, or even tempting thoughts: "Why can't I stop and go swimming? It is so hot, why am I out here?"  As these questions come into my mind I think of the reason why I am here:  I have been called by a prophet of God to share what I know. And I know that my message is true. As I read the scriptures, I find more things that I can be doing to help the people to whom I am called to serve.  The Lord has promised, "I will preserve thee" (Isaiah 49:8) And when the Lord promises, I know I can trust it. I can face the heat.  And just after that promise, He teaches us how we can help one another:

That thou mayest say to the prisoners, Go forth; to them that are in darkness, Show yourselves. They shall feed in the ways, and their pastures shall be in all high places.

Isaiah 49:9 

How can we help the people around us to have their pastures in high places? There isn't a prison in my neighborhood and people usually don't answer their doors at night; I don't think that is the darkness or prison that Isaiah is talking about.  I think that those "in darkness" is talking about those who are lacking some sort of light; whether that be knowledge, or Jesus Christ, or just a positive outlook. Is there such a way that we can be in a spiritual prison, or sitting in darkness?

Agree with thine adversary quickly while thou art in the way with him, lest at any time he shall get thee, and thou shalt be cast into prison. 

3 Nephi 12:25 

Agreeing with our adversary can cast us into prison.  So when I act on those thoughts that it is hot outside, and I give up the work to go inside, I am putting myself in prison.  The choices we make limit ourselves from the blessings that come from striving to be our best.  Same with any negative thought.  When you believe the thoughts that no one likes you, you want to freeze or sink into yourself and not speak out and make friends. When someone cuts you off in traffic and you let your angry thoughts lead to action, you want to fight, which can cast you in real prison. When someone asks for your help and you pretend to be busy and leave, you are casting yourself into prison and away from the blessings that come from serving and loving one another. Any of these actions, freezing, fighting, and running away, are the ways that we cast ourselves into prison. When we choose to act upon outside forces, instead of acting for ourselves, you are limiting yourself of full happiness. You put yourself in prison.  The Lord has said, 

"Behold, I give unto you a commandment, that ye suffer none of these things to enter into your heart; For it is better that ye should deny yourselves of these things, wherein ye will take up your cross, than that ye should be cast into hell." 

3 Nephi 12:29-30

That does not sound very good! I think that all of us find ourselves imprisoned by our mistakes at some point. Jesus Christ helps us to be freed from those prisons.  Trials come in all sorts of different ways.  Christ can help us, and as we strive to be like Him, we can help each other.  And we do this by sharing what we know to be true! I know that Jesus Christ can help us overcome any mistake we have ever made! He will take care of us!  We help bring one another's pastures to be in higher places, and we help bring people to a better place in life.

They shall not hunger nor thirst; neither shall the heat nor sun smite them: for he that hath mercy on them shall lead them, even by the springs of water shall he guide them.

Isaiah 49:10

That's a cool promise! Especially here in the dessert!  So I will go forth and share this message to the people in the heat, that they will not thirst any longer! I will go and teach people how to act, and not to be acted upon by adversity that arises! I will show to everyone that we can find peace in the hardest of times and drink in the hottest of times, through Jesus Christ!

O that thou hadst hearkened to my commandments! Then had thy peace been as a river, and thy righteousness as the waves of the sea 

1 Nephi 20:11

The peace that comes from obedience to God's commandments will be like a river. It will be refreshing in a world of so much sin. As we sincerely act on the message of Christ, we may face challenges, and heat, but God will help us!

And they thirsted not when he led them through the deserts: he caused the waters to flow out of the rock for them: he clave the rock also, and the waters gushed out.

There is no peace, saith the Lord, unto the wicked.

Isaiah 48:22-23

I have found so much peace in my life, through all of the hard times. I know that God is with me always. I know that you never need feel alone or afraid because God is always there! Look for the blessings in your life and you will see Him! I see Him everyday as I make it through the heat!

When the day gets hot, I think of the Book of Mormon story of Nephi and Lehi being cast into prison and then the prison was set on fire.  That must have been hot!  But the Lord had given them a work to do, and they had faith that they would be preserved.  

And when they saw that they were encircled about with pillar of fire, and that it burned them not, their hearts did take courage. Helaman 5:24

They truly saw the blessings of God that come when we have faith!  I am not incircled in flames, but I take the same courage as I see the blessings in my life.  And I know that in the heat of the world, I will never thirst as I feast on the words of Christ- Whether those words be from the scriptures or from the faith and testimonies of others.

One way that you can bring peace to others is by sharing your testimony! It will bring so much joy into the lives of the people that you love! Share it and help out the people that are in the midst of a prison, or in darkness, or in the desert! I know that as you do, you will grow closer with them as well as with your Savior, who loves you.

What is your testimony! Please share it and give me a drink, its hot outside!

As We Forgive

We all have desires to be better. At times, despite our wishes, "better" seems so far away. Our desire to be better doesn't seem to stretch far enough to change everyday actions and the little effort put in is laughable and ends up discouraging us more than it does to help us. What then is to be done about the things we always notice and dislike but never can seem to change about ourselves?

As I remember my own experiences of being trapped in the web of discouragement, the worst part was the feeling that I was helpless to get free. Working on a “positive mental attitude” seemed like only kidding myself.  I got to a point where I saw two options.  Give up because my effort does nothing, or give it my all and see if it works.  Giving it my all to the promise found in the scriptures.

“The Spirit of the Lord came upon them, and they were filled with joy, having received a remission of their sins, and having peace of conscience, because of the exceeding faith which they had in Jesus Christ.” (Mosiah 4:3)

Alright, so I decided I want that.  What is next?
Well I started by changing all of the things in my life that weren't in harmony with the teachings of Jesus Christ.  It was hard work!  But once you get through the fight of the big things, it gets easier.  Now some days I feel that peace and happiness promised, and other days I don't.  I have been trying to figure out what is holding me back.  As I analysed the times that I wasn't happy and the events and choices leading up to it, I found that I have no idea what to do to be happier!  The circumstances and resulting feeling are always different.  So how can I know what I can change to find that promise everyday?

Well Sister Chowen said a quote to me that I have heard super often, but it wasn't until she said it that I understood:

"True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior.  The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than the study of behavior will improve behavior." (President Boyd K Packer)

Maybe read it twice because it took me a while to understand.  Here I was studying my actions and trying to see which actions to change so that I could change.  But only by understanding the full picture of why I want to change will give me the desire strong enough to act on it.  Once I realize that God loves me, and I have a divine nature that I can live up to, will help me want to follow the example of Jesus Christ.

So I began to study the doctrine of Jesus Christ, to see what I can learn; and from that, what I can change to live according to my understanding.

As I studied The Lord's Prayer, I figured out one thing I could work on:

"And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors." (Matt 6:12)

There are some people from my life that I haven't forgiven.  Who would've thought that the dumb things from five years ago could hold me back?  But its true, I should expect what I deserve, and I need to forgive.  I have felt the peace that comes from the forgiveness of sins, and I know that I need to learn how to forgive others.  I asked my mother for her advice, and I would like to pass it on to you.

"I don't think that forgiveness is a lesson that you learn just once and then from then on it is easy to forgive anytime it is needed. At least, it hasn't been for me. Every time it is hard to do. Every time I've had to pray for Heavenly Father's help to do it, and every time I have received His help and have felt His love for that person that I needed to forgive." She went on to promise that after forgiveness comes, you never need to be bothered by that person any more.  You can even love them! And you can be grateful for the experience that you had with them because it has helped you grow closer to the Savior (Who knew?) - Only God!

I have learned that to forgive, you need love.  And my pride and hurt gets in the way of me loving someone who hurt me.  I realized that forgiveness doesn't come from me.  I have tried so much on my own, but I can't do it.  The only way that I am going to reach forgiveness is through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  His love can strengthen us and His Grace can enable us.  It is through Him that we can overcome anything.  I know that good things don't come all at once.  Understanding and learning come overtime, through pray, study, experience, and keeping God's commandments.  Forgiveness, and anything else you are searching for comes from these things.

Even with no bike, My soul was filled with joy

And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!

Alma 36:20

Sister Roth and I woke up early.  The light was racing in, and as we ran it shined brilliantly in our eyes.  But we prevailed and ran two and a half miles.  What a great start to the day!  We got back to the house, and we put down our car bike rack that was sticking out.  It always bothers us when we leave it up.  Then we began to walk inside and Sister Roth stopped.  She turned to me and asked, "Where are our bikes?"  We had left our bikes on the rack the night before.  Without answering her question I suggested that we continue our run around the block.  After looking at every yard, we arrived home and I concluded that our bikes where missing.

We filed a police report and went on with our day.  We weren't even late to studies.  As we began our companionship study we stood and recited the Standard of Truth by Joseph Smith.  "The standard of truth has been erected. No unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing.  Persecutions may rage, mobs my combine, armies may assemble, and calumny may defame, and our bikes may get stolen," we added. "But the truth of God will go forth boldly, nobly, and independent..."  We giggled a little and then commented on the truth of that statement. We were not going to let this little thing stop us from doing the work of the Lord.

It was really cool to recognize how the Lord was blessing us.  Normally with a loss of something so expensive there is a nasty sinking feeling that tags along with it.  But I didn't get that, and I was able to move on with confidence that the Lord will provide.

The only notable thing to say about the rest of that day is that I am thankful for our companionship unity.  We both helped each other stay positive as we borrowed the bikes of the sister's who live with us.  The work continued. And I had a great day.  Sister Roth reminded me, whenever I began to morn the loss of my (less than three month old) bike that my Father had given me, that I am called of God, and if I needed my bike, God could bring it back to me.  I also knew that I have the means to buy a new bike.  I felt comforted that the Lord would take care of me.  "Therefore I say unto you, take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on... For your Heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." (3 Nephi 13:25, 32-33)  And seek we did.  

The next day at church we had so many people there!  So many people that we are teaching and helping to come back to church. There is a woman we are teaching who was sick, but came anyways because she knew that it was where God wanted her to be! She is a great example of faith to me, I know that God blesses us for the efforts we put into following Him, even when it is tough to!  By the end of the night, we had three people who had accepted the invitation to be baptized and had picked the days that they were going to do it. Three wonderful people who have made the choice to follow Jesus Christ.

The week was going great and it seemed that nothing to stop the work. Sister Roth's iPad screen broke, and the building was all booked so our baptisms coming us had to be moved, and plans weren't working out, and we were getting a little frustrated. But we turned toward the Lord, and prayed that everything would work out.  We went on with confidence, and continued to look for the miracles.  We found one the next day.  A 23 year old guy walked into a missionary meeting in Ahwatuki, which is forever away. After listening to the training given to the missionaries, he said that he wanted to learn.  Sister Roth and I met him on facebook, and then in person and were able to teach him.  He is so awesome and it was sweet to hear him share his faith in God, even in the rough times of his life.

"The light of the body is the eye; if, therefore, thine eye be single, they whole body shall be full of light. But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If, therefore, the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness! No man can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will hold to the one and despise the other. Ye can not serve God and Mammon." (3 Nephi 13:22-24)

There is no room in this life to give in to doubts or despair.  Or discouragement. "Faith, hope charity and love, with an eye single to the glory of God qualify him for the work." (Doctrine&Covenants 4:2) Doubt is the opposite of faith, and discouragement fills the soul, to where you can't feel the love of God.  I gave into those feelings, and lost that light which comes from faith in Christ. It was a bad day, and I just wanted to have a bad day!  Things were tough, I had lost my bike. My soul felt low.  I let myself get discouraged and I fell back into the fear of having darkness in my life.  I wanted to fight it, but I didn't know how. Sister Roth recognized that my spirit was low, and she tried to help, but I snapped at her, and put her in a bad mood too.  It was about six hours later that we decided to snap out of it.  We counseled together why we were feeling sad.  We realized that Satan had been trying to discourage us, because we were doing the work of the Lord.  We turned to the scriptures for what we could do to help us fight it.

Moroni is described as having such a firm faith in Christ that the devil can have no power over him. "Yea, verily, verily I say unto you, if all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men." (Alma 48:17)

We too can have that amount of faith. Sister Roth and I turned our hearts completely to the Lord and wouldn't even focus on the thoughts that were negative at all! And we were blessed with His spirit. We felt peaceful and were able to go deal with the challenges that we were facing. I know that the Lord blesses us, and as we put Him above the other things in our life, we will find that He helps us with everything. Sister Roth and I worked out all of the baptism dates and we even got our bikes back! It was a miracle, and it came from the faith and trust we put in the Lord.

The Best Exercise of All

For if ye would hearken unto the Spirit which teacheth a man to pray, ye would know that ye must pray; for the evil spirit teacheth not a man to pray, but teacheth him that he must not pray.  But behold, I say unto you that ye must pray always, and not faint; that ye must not perform any thing unto the Lord save in the first place ye shall pray unto the Father in the name of Christ, that he will consecrate thy performance unto thee, that thy performance may be for the welfare of thy soul.

(2 Nephi 32:8-9)

One thing that I am always forgetting is that God commands us to pray.  What a strange commandment.  What benefit comes from prayer?  I understand don't kill and love one another, but  prayer is so simple, and it is such a small action.  You can pray without anyone around you even knowing.  But we are commanded to pray always, in our homes, throughout our days, and in our secret places.  God is your Heavenly Father.  He loves you, and He wants you to talk to Him.  In His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus Christ counseled: "Enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to the Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly." (Matthew 6:6)  Personal prayer is essential to our development. 

This week we visited a woman who is struggling with her faith.  She is so awesome, and it makes me sad to see her in this tough place.  She trusted in God to help her as she made changes in her life to become better, and things continued to get worse.  Now she questions if God is even there.  She feels angry with God, but more so she is mad at herself for being so foolish.  

I know that it can be so tough to pray sometimes.  There can often be multiple concerns that are holding us back.  This woman told us that she did not want to pray.  She knows that as missionaries we invite people to make actions that will bring you closer to Heavenly Father.  She told us honestly that she will not pray, but we are free to invite her to read scriptures and go to church.  Sister Roth and I discussed together what we could do to help this woman to pray.

I thought about my past experiences with prayer.  I went a long time without praying when I was in High School.  I reached a point where I was in a tough situation and knew that I must pray, but I didn't.  The longer I went without praying, the harder it got to try to get myself to.  I found myself kneeling by my bed, unable to make myself pray.  I ended up in frustrated tears and I gave up and just read a comic book before going to sleep to distract my mind from my feelings.  The need to pray grew stronger until I knew that I must pray or choose to turn away from God.  I knelt down again and after fighting with myself in silence, I said allowed, "God, please help me to pray."

A few days after that I went to church and came home and read my scriptures.  It was easier to read than to pray.  I thought a lot about my weakness, and about how mad God must be at me for my lack of gratitude.  Then I spiraled down in self pity about how worthless I am and how I can never qualify for any blessings from God.  In my whinny state, I thought about Jesus Christ.  I thought about His sacrifice and Atonement.  I asked myself if I believed that He really paid for the sins of the world.  The answer was yes.  Well then that would mean that He paid for my sins.  Which would mean that I could be forgiven, and receive the strength to be able to pray.

I have a firm belief that through prayer a man can come closer to God.  There is no amount of resolving concerns that will lead to a place where it will be easy to pray.  With this woman that we are teaching, I know that the trick is for her to just do it! Just pray!!  I wanted to tell her, just forget about all the things holding you back for one minute and pray.  But I didn't, because I know how rough it can be.  There are so many things holding you back.  But I promise that every prayer is heard.  It is good to go to church and to read the scriptures.  Doing these things help you to feel His Spirit.  It is a great first step, and I know that as this woman takes these small steps, she will begin to desire to come closer to God.  The fastest way to feel Heavenly Father's love for you is to pray to Him and ask Him about it.

The best prayer is one that you truly mean.  Offer up the feelings of your heart.  If you are having a tough time knowing what to pray for, ask Him what you should pray for.  If you are having trouble forgiving your brother, tell Him, and ask Him to help you.  I know that God can help.  To make your prayers meaningful, you must pray with sincerity and "with all the energy of heart" (Moroni 7:48)  Give serious thought to your attitude and to the words you use.  Always give thanks to you Heavenly Father.  As you take time to remember your blessings, you will recognize how much God has done for you.  "live in thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which he doth bestow upon you." (Alma 34:38) Express your thanks to Him.  Let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.

Prayer is an exercise of faith.  Much like waking up early to run two miles, you can sit and think about it without ever getting yourself to act.  "I should go run, but I don't want to.  It will be good for me, but I would rather sleep.  It won't be tough once I'm up, but I can just do it later."  Such thoughts will never end.  But once you take the step to pray, it gets easier to the next time, and plus, its super good for you!  

Trust in the Lord, but always remember to trust in yourself.  You have the ability to choose to do right.  You have the power to pray with real intent, and when you pray you are showing that you have the faith to turn to God and you can see miracles. Do all that you can to help bring about the things that you pray for. If you have a difficult task, Heavenly Father is pleased if you get on your knees and then get back on your feet and get to work.  You will find that you are happier when you turn to God for everything!

I know that the Lord loves you and will bless you always when you take the time to pray to Him.  I am looking forward with gladness to see the change that comes into this woman's life from the faith that she has to pray, even when it seems so difficult to.  I know that as she overcomes those fears and barriers, she will find herself coming closer to Christ, and she will see how He has been there for her this whole time.  He never leaves us, and I promise that prayer is a window to His love, it will help you see His love in every piece of your life!

So, will you say your prayers tonight?

Day By Day

And now, my son, I have somewhat to say concerning the thing which our fathers call a ball, or director—or our fathers called it Liahona, which is, being interpreted, a compass; and the Lord prepared it... And it did work for them according to their faith in God; therefore, if they had faith to believe that God could cause that those spindles should point the way they should go, behold, it was done; therefore they had this miracle, and also many other miracles wrought by the power of God, day by day.  Nevertheless, because those miracles were worked by small means it did show unto them marvelous works.

(Alma 37: 38-41)

Miracles happen everyday, and it is by the small means that we can see the hand of God in our lives.

We met a lady named Jennifer, and we invited her to come to church.  At first she didn't really want to come, but eventually she said that she would.  We stopped by her house late Saturday evening and helped her weed her garden.  It was so fun to visit with her and her best friend. Then when the job was done (which wasn't easy in the dark!)  We said "see you tomorrow!" and we were on our way.

Sister Roth and I were so excited for Jennifer to come to church with us.  As we left the next morning Sister Roth suggested calling like a wake-up call.  I said that maybe that was being a little pushy.  We discussed it and came to the conclusion that if Jennifer wanted to come, she would wether we called her or not.  A few minutes after we decided this, Sister Roth said, "Oh it won't hurt! If she wants to come then she'll be happy that I called, and if she doesn't want to come then she can tell us and she won't have to!"

Then Sister Roth suggested that we say a prayer.  God always knows what is best and what we should do!  So we prayed and nothing huge came to tell us if we should or shouldn't call, but more of a peace that if good can come from it, then we should do it.

It rang, and rang, and then informed us, as we knew it would, that the voice mailbox has not been set up yet.  We hung up, and remarked on how it was worth the shot to call.  We started visiting with the members that were filing in before the meeting started.  The phone started ring.  It was Jennifer!  We answered and she said she was on her way and asked if we could meet her outside. 

We were both beaming when we met Jennifer.  And she told us how she had forgot to set her alarm and that our phone call had woken her up!  She said she was happy that we called because she really wanted to come to church.

It was amazing to see how the small means of a phone call can help someone come closer to God.  I know that there are different things acting on us, pushing us to act in different ways, but it is up to us what we will act on.  And I know that as we exercise faith, the Lord will always keep telling us what it is that we need to do!

When you pray you are exercising faith.  And according to your faith, the miracles come.  Start by praying, and then look for the small means day to day that show you God's love.  His love is in every day, and if you look for it you can see it!  I know that God loves us, and He wants to be a part of our lives.  As we pray to Him, we allow Him to have a bigger role everyday, and it brings peace and blessings.

Then Am I Stong

"When hard trials come, the faith to endure them well will be there, built as you may now notice but may have not at the time that you acted on the pure love of Christ, serving and forgiving others as the Savior would have done. You built a foundation of faith from loving as the Savior loved and serving for Him. Your faith in Him led to acts of charity that will bring you hope.

It is never too late to strengthen the foundation of faith. There is always time. With faith in the Savior, you can repent and plead for forgiveness. There is someone you can forgive. There is someone you can thank. There is someone you can serve and lift. You can do it wherever you are and however alone and deserted you may feel."

- Henry B. Eyring

There are situations in life that we feel we can't escape from.  There are some things that seem out of our control.  But I know that we always have the ability to chose how we act ourselves.  One of the toughest things to do, is to watch a person you love be hurt, and then to forgive the person that hurt them.  Even harder is to forgive them when they don't feel bad about doing so.  I know that through the Atonement of Christ we can find forgiveness for our mistakes, and we can receive the strength to forgive others for their mistakes.

Sometimes a person makes dumb choices, and they can hurt you.  But if you show them that love that you have found from the Savior, they can grow closer to Him, and you can be a part of helping them to choose better in the future.

I can't change the things that other people do.  But I can change what I do.  Through striving to know my Savior, I have been able to take those small steps that help me to act, instead of being acted upon.  No matter what trials are facing you, no matter what choices or situations are baring down on you, know that you are not stuck.  Pray to God, and he can help you.

I just repeat the invitation that He has already extended.  I promise blessings that He is already waiting to give.  I encourage and support, but the love that I show comes from Him.

I know how tough it is to stop sometimes.  I know what it is like to be doing something, and to know it is bad, and to still do it anyways.  You feel stuck, and sometimes hopeless that you won't be able to change.  And then, in your stuck place, you come to find yourself reading my blog, and you know what I am going to tell you to do.  You know the steps needed to get you out, but you can't seem to take them.

It took me four years - of telling myself that I was going to get better, pretending that I was, lying to myself that I was improving, and ignoring the times that I messed up - before I got to a place where I saw the way out. And once I saw that way out, it took another year and a half to get to a place where I could say that I was leaving that life and those actions behind me.  I am still afraid that those same things lay ahead of me in the future.  That some trial will arise and I will find that I haven't changed at all.  I know that I am weak.  And when I act strong, I know that I still am weak.  But I know that I don't have to be strong to have faith in my Lord.

Despite my every weakness, and every sin, Christ still calls to me.  He is all knowing, and He new the mistakes that I was going to make before I made them.  And He has already chosen to forgive me.  We all make mistakes in life, and these mistakes create feelings of guilt and shame.  These feelings can not be relieved without repentance and forgiveness.  They can be fully healed through the Atonement of Christ.

I know that changing is tough.  When I found myself stuck. I knew that the first step out was to stop and walk away, but I was too weak.  I watched myself keep going, even when I no longer wanted to.  I tried to walk away but sometimes you don't believe that you can.  And it kills you, but you stay.  In this time I accepted my weakness.  I knew that I couldn't get myself out.  In weakness I fell to my knees and prayed to my Lord.  I begged Him to help me.  I told Him that I didn't have the strength to change.  I asked Him to show me the way out, and I admitted that I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to take the way out even after I could see it.  I ended my prayer in tears, which soon lead to me laying in bed feeling hopeless, and then turning back to the very thing that I had prayed to be relieved from.

This brought my soul in even greater torment.  How can I get out?  I tried to think if I should give up hopes of a better me, and just try to be happy with the place that I was in.

Finding happiness in a sinful state will never last.  Trying to be alright in an environment where you feel stuck will never bring you joy.  I know that Christ is the way out.  Continue to pray to Him and know that your weakness is made perfect in His strength.  We can reach joy in this life.  And there is always always a way out.

My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

(2 Corinthians 12:9-10) 

I found that way out.  Through my prayers at the times in my life where I was the most lost.  

Turn to Him in your weakness, and allow Him to bless you with His strength.

In His Strength

Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever.

Therefore, let us glory, yea, we will glory in the Lord; yea, we will rejoice, for our joy is full; yea, we will praise our God forever. Behold, who can glory too much in the Lord? Yea, who can say too much of his great power, and of his mercy, and of his long-suffering towards the children of men? Behold, I say unto you, I cannot say the smallest part which I feel.

(Alma 26:12,16)

After every High School Cross Country practice, my team would get together to do a core-ab workout before going home.  Spencer (who lead core) would always say, "When you are at the end of a race, and your legs are dead, your core is what keeps you going.  That is why we do core everyday."

 It may seem lame to work everyday on the little things, but doing 25 sit-ups can help you go that much farther in a race.

I remember one race that I really struggled with.  I felt defeated the whole time, and could only think about how I couldn't go on.  As I neared the end, I started sprinting and I passed three girls in front of me! I was so proud of myself for doing so good.  Then I saw my time, and it didn't seem too great, but I had passed people, soo did I do good or bad?

Sometimes the things we use to measure our progress, don't really help us to improve.  After the race my dad talked to me about how I did.  He told me that the reason why I could pass those girls is because I had the energy to at the end.  He told me that I could have gone faster the entire race with that energy and improved my time.  It seems harder, but in the long run it is more worth it.

I thought about this as Sister Roth and I ran this morning.  We had a goal to run two miles. No stopping.  We had a point where we had to speed up to make the crosswalk light.  After we crossed the road we didn't slow down, and I realized we could have been running this fast before.  

What is the point of running slow, just to have energy left when you are done?  What are all of those sit-ups for?  The goal is to run until you can't go any more, use all the energy you have during the race, expect your core to carry you through the end, and when you finish you will have nothing left.  No regrets. Just your best effort.  

What have you been doing to build up that strength that will carry you through the end of your life?

This is a tough question, because we don't know when we will be called to leave this life and head off into the next.  Which is why it is so important to not be saving energy.  Trust in the Lord that He will give you the strength you need after you have given it your all.

I know that as you strive to reach goals in your life, you may face challenges, but God will help you.

Glory in your God.  Find strength in Christ.  I know that as we rely on faith in Him, we will have the strength to do all things that He asks us to do!

My fellow Jenna-blog-readers, 
I know that it is tough to do the right thing sometimes, even when you know that it is right, but I promise you that IF you do, He Will Bless You!

Come unto Christ, and find peace.

I will glory in His power and I will rely on His mercy. For I know that I am nothing, I am only what He has lead me to be.  I trust in Him, and I know that through Him we can find peace.

Pour Out My Whole Soul Unto God

"Now, it came to pass that when I had heard these words I began to feel a desire for the welfare of my brethren, the Nephites; wherefore, I did pour out my whole soul unto God for them."

(Enos 1:9) 

My companion, Sister Roth, had to go to a training leader conference today.  I am not a training leader, so I couldn't go.  Instead I hung out with two sisters in a neighboring area to mine.  Towards the end of Sister Roths meeting we saw a man pushing a shopping cart down the sidewalk.  As we drove past we noticed that he had two more shopping carts waiting at the end of the road. 

We stopped and asked him where he was going.  DOWNTOWN MESA! (Which is forever far away.)  He was pushing one cart to the end of the street, and going back for the next, until he got all three across the crosswalk and could start on the next stretch of road.  We asked if we could help him push his carts for a while.

We each took a cart and started walking!

About twenty minutes later we reached the edge of our area and told him that we were going to have to start to head back.  But we asked if we could try to maybe tie his carts together for him.  He said that might be a good idea.  So we looked around and saw a car-spa back down the road a little from where we had just come.  We knew that they might not have rope, but we decided to try there anyways.

As we were walking back we heard the phone ring.  I got so excited. "Sister Roth is coming back and wants to know where to meet me."  But as we checked out pockets, none of us had the phone.  We looked around and saw it laying open on the edge of the sidewalk almost in the road!

I ran over and answered it.

"Sister Roth, you just saved the sister's phone from being lost on the side of a busy road forever!  We were walking back by it and had you not called, we wouldn't have known it was lost and we would have left it behind for good!"

I heard Sister Roth on the other end of the phone:

"Oh my goodness, I can't believe it! I have been praying! The sisters that I am with need to get to a lesson and you weren't answering the phone. And I prayed saying 'Heavenly Father please let the sisters hear the phone ring!'"

"Well He did! And it was a miracle!"

Heavenly Father knew that it would work out.  He knew that we lost the phone, and that we needed to find it.  As we waited for Sister Roth to pick us up, we found somethings to use to help this man tie his carts together so he can make it to Mesa.

I know that God always knows of our needs and He knows where we are.  He will help us as we strive to help His children!

Christ Has Become My Salvation

"Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the Lord JEHOVAH is my strength and my song; he also has become my salvation." 

(Isaiah 12:2) 

 I was once given an invitation to identify an experience that I have had where I turned and applied the Atonement of Jesus Christ in my life.  There are obvious times: when I confessed and repented.  But are there other times?

Jesus Christ does more than forgive us of our sins.  He can heal us.  

Growing up, I believed in miracles, I believed in dreams coming true, and I believed in Jesus Christ.  When I was thirteen, my best friend's little brother, Travis, got really sick.  I watched for the miracle as the people around me prayed for him.  We fasted, and we believed.  I saw a lot of his dreams coming true.  People were giving this nine-year-old boy with a brain tumor tickets to the World Series and his family went on a Make a Wish Disney Cruise.  How cool!  But still I was waiting for the miracle.

The night soon came that my dad got a phone call and left super fast.  I didn't think anything of it.  He was gone for hours.  Finally he called my mom, and she sat me down by my older sister.  She told us that we had to be strong.  "Set a good example for your little sister (who was around the same age as Travis) and help her see that everything is going to be okay."

I couldn't believe that Travis wasn't healed.  How could he die when everyone had prayed?  But despite my personal confusion and sadness, I put on a strong face for when my mother brought in my little sister and told us the news that Travis had passed.

I continued to hide behind that "strength."  I didn't let people know that my faith was shaken.  I thought over and over "How could God let this little boy die?"  My sadness could have been healed, had I turned to my Savior, but instead I turned away.  And my sadness turned to anger against God, and then to anger against myself.  

It was stupid that I was letting something upset my happy life.  I was being foolish for believing in prayer, and angels.  Happiness, as defined by me in the trial of my faith, was the lack of pain or fear.  I began to block out these negative emotions.  I no longer felt sad, I wasn't angry or hurt or afraid.  But I wasn't happy either.  I had trained myself to "not feel" by telling myself that I didn't care.  I lost all interest in the things that I once found joy from.  

A year after Travis had died, I went with my family to visit his grave.  I looked around at myself and realized that I had somehow become far away from my family.  I didn't have any friends, and I didn't have any purpose.  No goals or wishes.  No dreams.  I was lost.

Upon realizing that I had reacted to death in the wrong way, I decided how I could fix it.  I didn't turn to my Savior, because that required me to admit how wrong I had been.  I kept my anger against God buried deep, and I began to try to feel again.  But as I strived to feel pain, I told myself that hurting couldn't upset me.  I was trying to prove to myself that I was strong enough to withstand it.

Well it didn't do much to help me.  But it did get the attention of my family.  My dad asked me if this was my way of calling for help.  I told him it wasn't.  I didn't need help.  But he asked me if he could give me some anyways.  I didn't say anything.  This conversation was getting close to making me feel something and I didn't want to feel it.  My father told me that I should talk to my sister.  He reminded me how close we had once been.  I considered it and agreed that talking to her was a good idea.  Then he told me that I should talk to my friends again.  I thought about it, and said I'd try.  And I went on my way.

I went and began to regain the relationships that I had forgotten about.  I began to realize how I had to care about others in order to find the joy that came with being with them.  I stopped wanting to be alone.  But I still couldn't talk to the boy that had once been my best friend.  I tried decorating his room for his birthday, but still when the time came for him to thank me, I could only think of his little brother Travis, and I would run away from the pain.

I reported my efforts to my father.  He asked me what I thought I needed to do to be happy.  I was mad when he asked me that, but I answered anyways.  "Pray I guess."  I knew all along that Jesus Christ was the way back.  The only way.  

Turning to Christ helped me break from bad habits, and helped me to create new better habits.  Through reading of Him in the scriptures I found peace.  It was really tough, and it still is.  But through learning of Him, I have begun a journey to live with Him and with God again.

Though I didn't know him well, Travis has helped me so much.  My reaction to his death proved to me my weakness.  I can't do this alone.  I know that I am weak.  I know that I am nothing and I have nothing, save what God has given me.  I know that God can hear our prayers.  He is all knowing, and I am not.  I know only the things that He has revealed to me.

I know that Travis is happy.  He is in a place of peace. And his spirit is doing great work for our God.  One of the things he was asked to do, was to help me come to Christ.  I know that Travis has been there helping me, waiting for me to see.  Travis has shown me that strength isn't measured by the lack of tears, but by how much we learn to rely on our Savior.

I will trust, and not be afraid: for the Lord is my strength.

I still believe in miracles.  I believe that dreams can come true.  I believe that love can overcome fear and pain.  I know that Christ lives.  I am striving everyday to draw closer to Him.

He has become my salvation.

Pray One For Another

"And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.  Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed.  The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."

(James 5:15-16)

I have been contemplating the purpose of prayer.  We speak to God, and tell him the things that He already knows.  We ask Him for things that He already knows that we need.  We thank Him for things when He already knows the intents of our hearts.  Then we close "in the name of Jesus Christ."

Through prayer things can be revealed to us.  God knows the things we need before we ask for them.  But He wants us to trust in Him.  Sometimes He will wait until we ask.

Jesus has promised us that if we ask we shall receive.  He has also told us that He is "the way, the truth, and the light.  No man comes unto the Father (God) but by me" (Jesus Christ.)  That is why we pray in the name of Jesus Christ.  Because through Christ, God can reveal to us all things.  

There is power in praying in Christ's name.  There is also power in serving God's children.  "The worth of a soul is great in the sight of God." (D&C 18:10)  As you pray for others, you can find joy in their blessings.

I have been praying for my brother in law.  His school situation has been a little scary.  I knew that God has a plan for him and my sister and their cute little girl.  I knew that even if they had to move and start school over, that God would still bless them.  I prayed to God in the name of Jesus, that Allen would be able to know what he should do.  As time went on, the situation leveled out and we could see how things were going to work out.  I joy in the blessings that God gave to my sisters family.  

No matter what your needs or concerns may be, the Savior and his teachings--the Gospel will help you.

Always Abounding in Good Works

"Therefore, I would that ye should be steadfast and immovable, always abounding in good works, that Christ, the Lord God Omnipotent, may seal you his, that you may be brought to heaven, that ye may have everlasting salvation and eternal life, through the wisdom, and power, and justice, and mercy of him who created all things, in heaven and in earth, who is God above all. Amen." 

(Mosiah 5:15)

The blessings promised by prophets of old are for all men of every time.  Jesus Christ loves all of us, no matter what day and age we live in.  As I learn of Christ, and I become "steadfast and immovable," I try to remember that I must also always be abounding in good works.  

I have felt the Love of Christ in my life.  I know that He loves me personally.  It is tough for me, at times, to take that understanding and still focus on others.  Yes, Jesus loves me but He never taught me to be selfish.  I want to follow His example and serve others.

What if you had to give up your parking spot in the middle of the day to share it with someone else? 

Lazy habits are Satan's greatest fight against righteous service.  

Awake and shake off the dust!  Take a second today to swallow that little bit of pride, and go and do something good in the world.  The small things are the most important.  Isn't it nice getting that gross taste out of your mouth?  Sometimes you don't realize how dumb you are being until you start acting smart!  I know that I get caught thinking of myself all the time.  Take a second today to ask someone you pass if they need help.  Its easy! Once you decide to do it :)

I know that one of the fastest ways to make your life happier is to help someone out.  Everyday my companion Sister Roth asks anybody that we pass if we can help them with something.  They always say no.  "Are you sure?"  She'll ask.  Some people need help, but don't want to take it.  

Finally we had a lady who was weeding her yard said, "sure if you want to!"  And what a great day that was!! We got to weed a garden, in 85 degree heat, while wearing skirts.  But we did it, to help this woman out.  Afterwards she gave us some water and sent us on our way.  And that was it.  No astonishing result, no miracle.  Just a smile and a bit of joy in the day. (and some dirt under my nails to remember it by!)

I know that Christ loves all of us.  He has done so much for us.  Your love will be shown through your actions.  Show your love, and help someone see His love, and I know that you will feel the love of Him who created all things.

He Will

"But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in Him,  

and serve Him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this, 

He will

according to His own will and pleasure, 

deliver you out of bondage."

                                                                                                                (Mosiah 7:33) 

In times of misfortune and woe

My heart often cries "to whom shall I go?"
Deep inside we all know the truth,

But for me, it was lost in my youth.

Ignored or forgotten,

My souls happiness gone rotten

Where shall I go?

Long nights and dark tears

Run, hide or face your fears

My mind gets stuck in memories that are past

I prayed every night that fear won't last

I tried to break free

From the grief inside of me

A glimmer of light

Waits at the break of the night.

Oh Lord, my redeemer

Thou hast done so much for me

I turned my face away and you waited lovingly for me to see

I feel the warmth from the son

I desired to say "Thy will be done."

I am slow to trust

But I know that I must

Come unto Thee

That my soul may be free

Lord help me turn away from my past

And come to the joy that I know will always last

My actions will demonstrate the love I have found

I will teach of Thee, 

And help others to see

God loves all of His children

And with love and joy they can be free

One By One

 "And it came to pass that the Lord spake unto them saying: "Arise and come forth unto me, that ye may thrust your hands into my side, and also that ye may feel the prints of the nails in my hands and in my feet, that ye may know that I am the God of Israel, and the God of the whole earth, and have been slain for the sins of the world. "And it came to pass that the multitude went forth, and thrust their hands into his side, and did feel the prints of the nails in his hands and in his feet; and this they did do, going forth one by one until they had all gone forth, and did see with their eyes and did feel with their hands, and did know of a surety and did bear record, that it was he, of whom it was written by the prophets, that should come. "And when they had all gone forth and had witnessed for themselves, they did cry out with one accord, saying: "Hosanna! Blessed be the name of the Most High God! And they did fall down at the feet of Jesus, and did worship him."  

(3 Nephi 11: 13-17)

The Lord loves all of His children. Jesus Christ suffered and died for all of us.  These people were able to go one by one to feel, see, and understand what He did for us.  I was not a part of that multitude, and at times I look at my relationship with God as being part of a multitude. But Jesus Christ knows us all individually.  I didn't get to go and feel the prints in His hands and feet, but I can still gain that relationship with Him in my life.  I can know Him, and if you take the time to get to know Him, you can have that personal relationship with your Savior as well.

I am a child of God.  Jesus Christ is my brother, and He is my Redeemer.  The more I accept this, and the more I strive to know my Lord, the more I recognize that He already knows me.  I can see everyday the things that God has prepared for me.  The people He has lead me to to meet, and the blessings that He lovingly gives to me.

Look for the hand of the Lord in your life.  I know He is there.

Jesus Christ visiting the Nephites

I want to share with you how I am coming to know my Savior, and how I see His love in the lives of everyone around me.